I think I die every night when I close my eyes.

When the first time I began to wonder whether I

could feel the same as I could feel every night I

thought I shall be dead, I thought I was no longer

afraid of the real death. I thought it was simply

what it was when the day had come and I’d got

no tomorrow to open my eyes again like I ever

did..

  But I am like I always am..

  I am shrouded by my solemn fear of death, and

I’ve never walked a litter further from the centre    

of it.. But I don’t think I’m gonna feel any hurt the

moment I die. I really don’t.. I, however, know the

reason is that, it’s gonna be very painful.

   Because I don’t wanna leave..

   It’s a lifetime-taking job to get ready to leave

for an unknown place.

   I hate any kinda leavin’ or departure, and ,

overwhelmingly, death is just one of them,

dominating over any others.. I cannot just selfishly

think I’m a lucky guy, cos’ I’m gonna have a brand

new set of world that people in another world are

never willing to expect.. It costs too much.

   I will surely feel lonely.. I have to start a lot

of new conversations, make eye contact with the

guys I’ve ever known, pick out my favorite music,

kiss the person that I love, think about death from

the ABC and any other kinda leavin’ as well..

   I think I die every night when I close my eyes.

Maybe everybody does. Maybe it’s the way it really

is. I’ve only got a blink of time to sleep on a painstaking

quotation, that, I’m not deceived. And I know when I

open my eyes again some hours later, I’m gonna find

out every trace of hints to tell exactly I’m still ALIVE.

I know, I’m gonna be working on that..

                                               | Life

                                                is NOT what I'm living in,

             but what I'm living for..|

                                                                                                  There ain't anything repeated.

                                                                                                  Or a deliberate repetition..

                                                                                                  Just ,

                                                                                                          {RESTATEMENT.}

Or just,

           {REINFORCEMENT.}

                                                   iN any...rhetorical sense.